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New Moon Nature Blessings

Posted on 10 September, 2018 at 13:25 Comments comments (0)


May the New Moon bring you peace.

May it bring you healing and calm.

May it help you see where you are and your way forward, granting you sight beyond your eyes, listening to and through your heart.


I was blessed with some outside wild garden and forest time today. Letting it bring me renewing energy and healing from a cold that thought it would come to visit.

Seeing this phase of my meadow area was quite amazing. Lots of aster flowers blooming on their bushy plants. As I stood among them with the breeze blowing, I could hear the buzzing melodies. On quick glance, the meadow looks quiet, only plants moving in the wind. On closer look, each plant was a flurry of activity flitting and flying from flower to flower.

All different bees and wasps feeding and gathering. Wonderful buzzing as they travel and work. The occasional butterfly floating through too. In that moment, all of life was expanding before my eyes, so much, so vibrant, so amazing. What a blessing to witness.

And then a walk through the woods. Sensing the trees whispering to me and to each other. Touching their unique bark imprints, wrapping my arms around their full trunks, honouring that I get to share time and space with beings so much older than I. With much gratitude.


If you have the opportunity to be outside today, even if it is to stand on your front steps, to feel and breathe, enjoy it.

 

New Moon blessings,

Sheila

 

Can you find the stick-type walking creatures on one of the purple asters?

Life beyond what we see in a moment. 


September 9th, 2018

#newmoon #naturetime #treewisdom #oracleintuition



September Guidance - Fairies - Earth Magic

Posted on 4 September, 2018 at 13:15 Comments comments (0)

September Guidance Oracle Card 2018

Can you believe it is September? Well yes it is and here we are with our guidance for this month. 

Wishing you well :)

- Sheila


Fairies – Earth Magic

 

For quite a long time, the idea of “magic” has been connected with fantasy, with unreal, with mystical, with conjuring, with gifts, with mystery… and in some cases even with evil or bad. This may all be true in some ways, even the idea of magic being evil or bad because it depends on the use of it, the purpose, and the plan. Those who use it in a way that does not serve the greater good (which can be a perception as well – oh the complications of detail!) can create feelings and situations that are out of the hands of others and are not generating help, joy, happiness, health, etc. Is it the magic that is evil or bad or the person who wields it? Much like money, power, influence, and authority, it is good and wise to observe and question. Perception, meaning, and use is important.

 

Is magic itself far from what the average human being experiences? The quick answer is yes, most people do not deal with, recognize, or utilize magic. However, does that mean it is not there or that there is a magical aspect to their very existence whether they call it so or not? Is there something magical in the birth of a child, in the growth of a tree, in the sensation of love between two people, as family or in desire, or in the whisper of inner guidance that suggests which way to go? Is there something magical in the gliding of an eagle on the wind, the song of a whale, or the howls between wolves? Is there something magical in the communication of brainwaves and through neurons, of heartbeats and breath, of the sensation of the baby toe and how it helps the body to balance? Is there something magical in a spark of an idea, the pull to create, or the desire to help?

 

There are now scientific reasons for many of these things as humans continue to progress and learn. Does the deeper understanding and learning make them any less magical or make them even more incredible? In whatever you are undertaking this month, allow it to be magical. Let your thoughts be there to bring you to higher and better. Invite your body to work with you as you work with it. See the wondrous aspects of everyday life held in the most mundane and usual tasks, for even those have magical and amazing qualities in them.

 

Allow yourself to bring in the magic. Embrace it and utilize it wisely. What you say to another person. How you say it. Whether you smile or not. Whether you notice the incredible clouds in the sky or sparkle on the water. How you feel. What you feel. What you are aiming for and how you get there. Noticing the incredible wonder of each breath and each movement of your body. Noticing this in other people and creatures. Seeing the wisdom in another’s eyes, whether it is wisdom you were seeking or not, whether it is a person you know or not. Noticing the inner knowing you possess, how it expresses itself and how you listen and act on it. These are all aspects of magic, everyday magic, real magic, your magic.

 

And ask. Ask for magic, hope for it, wish for it, send out desires for it. How will it feel? What will it be like? What is your true magical essence when expressed in the here and now, in the human life with spirit/energy connection? Ask for help from other humans. This can be magical too and will be more and more as each embraces these possibilities. Ask for help from those who are ready to help you too, fairies, guides, angels, dragons, to name a few. All powerful in their own ways and all ready to be a part of your journey and your magic. Show them your vision and they will show you theirs, together progressing forward.

 

This is an amazing month ahead. See what magic it will bring to you. Open up to it and breathe it in.

What is your magic? What does magic mean to you? To reflect and observe is a great place to start.

 

Magical light blessings.

__________________________________


Contact me for your own guidance reading. Guidance and support for your life. 

See out of the fog, shift from being stuck, and connect to what is amazing!

Sheila Bicknell - BlueWater Oracle

[email protected]

514-573-4740 (Montreal region, Canada)


This reading is featuring the Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Steven Farmer, EarthMagic.net and HayHouse.com. 





August Oracle Guidance Reading

Posted on 8 August, 2018 at 10:40 Comments comments (0)


Guidance for the month of August

 

Power

“I am a radiant, glorious, powerful being!”

 

You have so much beautiful power at your fingertips. Take a deep breath right now and allow yourself to remember that. Allow yourself to feel that deep into your being and deep from your being.

 

You also have an incredible array of choices ahead of you at all times. This sometimes presents a challenge to humans because it can stifle the mind as it tries to decipher what needs to happen next and what is the best course of action or decision to take. In most cases what is of primary importance is to make a choice and go towards it. Remember that the other choices are still there. They are not negated by your choosing a direction. If in your action towards that choice, you decide that it is no longer or was not in your best interest, then you shift course, and choose again. Like the face of a compass, it gives you all the direction options. The needle points to north but you can choose any direction you wish to go. It is there to situate you, not to say you need to go north.

 

If you are frozen in your choice making, this is a signal to stand still for a moment. Breathe into your body and into your life. Come fully into the space you are occupying. And then look around. See what is in your life. See what surrounds you. Feel what you are feeling and feel what your life feels like in this moment. Then when you feel you have been still for a good while, feeling calmer and more centered, it is time to look at your choice options. Feel the one that resonates most with your heart. It feels interesting, maybe a little exciting, maybe a little scary as well, but also with a curiosity and a joy present. Your heart nudges you forward. Just take one step, whatever that step is and then breathe again. Continue this until you build momentum or find that you are no longer frozen. You may even get surprised and find you are moving forward towards that choice faster than you imagined!

 

Some other choice and some other experience may be around the corner but at least you have moved forward to get there. You are connecting to your power in this decision making and action taking. Raise your hands up and smile in your power!

 

 

Sheila note: Writing out oracle readings is always interesting for me. What comes through is unique each time. In this one, the way of communication used what felt like more proper English with particular vocabulary that doesn’t always come up! Fascinating! Thankful for having some good English in my writing skill options, haha! and thankful for being able to receive and pass along guidance. 

 

This reading features the Soul Coaching® Oracle Cards by Denise Linn, available through HayHouse.com.

 

(as read and published August 3rd on my Facebook BlueWater Oracle Page)


#bluewateroracle #oracleintuitive #personalpower #choice #actionstepsforward #youhavethechoice #soulcoaching #deniselinn #oraclecards #connecttoamazing



 

July Oracle Guidance

Posted on 2 July, 2018 at 15:00 Comments comments (0)

July 2018

What will help us to know this month…


Breakthrough Soul Coaching® Oracle Card


This is a soul phase, where what has happened in the past, what you have learned, what you have experienced, what you have come to desire, want, and need, now comes to a point of expansion giving you the option to breakthrough if you choose. How do you know? There may be a driving push forward (or even a pull forward!) or restlessness when you are heading in a particular direction suggesting there is something more or different for you. There may be a deep sense of coming into your own and knowing + living as who you really are. Where to go next and what to do next may be large and profound changes as much as they may be subtle slight changes that mean huge amounts to you and your life. The size of change is not as important as the degree of realization that comes to you. You may not completely uproot and shift your life, you may simply notice aspects of life differently or react differently to them. Both and all are acceptable. Not everyone will be in gigantic climactic change, but if you are reading this, there is something that is shifting for you. You know it, you can sense it. This month is the breakthrough phase where you come out of the tunnel, whatever that tunnel was for you. Your choice is whether you stop where you are or even turn around back into the tunnel. You always have the choice and there is no right or wrong answer. It is your journey. The avenue that flows more easily is probably moving forward out of the tunnel where the light is brighter and where you are able to take a full expansive deep breath, from your heart centre and from your depths of soul.


When you question, the affirmation of this card is a reminder of how you are able to soar, you are allowed to soar, and you are destined to soar as a human experience. “I soar into limitless love, light, and joy!” Limitless love, light, and joy! Limitless! If you are feeling limited, look to where this is happening. Is it in your thought patterns? Is it because you are taking on too much of someone else’s thoughts and judgements? Is it because you have emotions which are wanting to be felt and expressed but you are holding them back in fear that they will actually make you feel? Is it because you doubt the amazingness of your human body and the life experience you are in? Limitless love, light, and joy! That is a part of you as much as your skin, as much as your lungs breathing, as much as your blood flowing. It is a part of you. Love, light, and joy, in limitless amounts, from unlimited source, it is already yours!


Connect to your soul and let it bring you out of the tunnel. It will work with your heart, with your sense of full wonderful self. It will show you things you may otherwise miss. Together you will learn more and be more. What? You are not ready? You do not feel ready to step forward? For some reading this, that may be their response. No problem! There is no judgement here, no “should” effect. If you will allow, let yourself know that the breakthrough out of the tunnel is there, even if all you see is a dot of light up ahead. Feel and sense that space out of the tunnel, that dot of light. By allowing yourself to know it is there, you come into this moment and connect with your deep knowing self. You move into this soul phase where you need to and that is wonderful in itself.


For others, you are celebrating this Breakthrough! You have been waiting for the dot of light to get bigger, climbing over dark places, reaching through crevices, pushing and pulling at whatever was needed to get through and expand. Congrats! You did not give up even if it was tough and even if it was intense. Now take that deep breath you are due and enjoy! Limitless love, light, and joy! Limitless soaring! Limitless life! Enter soul phase…


Enjoy your July moon month!


Sheila
BlueWater Oracle


Featuring the Soul Coaching® Oracle Cards by Denise Linn, published and available through HayHouse.com.

The Power of Love... When Love is the Way...

Posted on 21 May, 2018 at 11:50 Comments comments (0)

The Power of Love… When Love is the Way…

These were the two repeated phrases in the beautiful address to the wedding couple at the Royal Wedding on Saturday. Like some of you, I watched and enjoyed the spectacle and the pageantry of the Royals. It was nice to see something very joyous and positive on live television! I also noticed how this wedding was a testament to the couple being married, their lives, their goals, their wishes, their history, and who they are as individuals and as a couple starting life together. I wish them well, all the best, health, togetherness, companionship, and a life of joy and love.

 

The Most Reverend Michael Bruce Curry, the 27th Presiding Bishop and Primate of The Episcopal Church spoke fabulously to the couple, the church attendees, and the world. His words struck me then and still do as I watch him again. What an amazing wedding legacy to have these words recorded and given to all. I believe it is a gift the couple and the Bishop have brought us without possibly intending to on such a huge scale. I accept it and I carry it forward with me.

 

Here are the words that touched me the most. If it suits you and speaks to you, I suggest you taking the 14 minutes to watch (see the link below to watch). He is entertaining, the chapel is spectacular (I can attest to that having visited it), the couple is in love, and the audience is filled with royal and celebrity faces. People were brought to a point to reflect, to listen, to feel, and to have seeds planted. This is not always easy when it is out of our norm or comfort zone but it can be spectacular in its effect. I feel there is potential for great healing to come from this ceremony for those present and for those who were witness to it. I feel it reminds us of hope for our species and our world, and that each and every one of us have a part we play in this.


Excerpts from The Most Reverend Michael Bruce Curry, the 27th Presiding Bishop and Primate of The Episcopal Church, at the Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex:


“There's power in love. Don't underestimate it. Don't even over-sentimentalize it. There's power, power in love.

The reason has to do with the source. We were made by a power of love, and our lives were meant - and are meant - to be lived in that love. That's why we are here.

Where true love is found, God himself is there.

God is love.

There is power in love.

There is power in love to help and heal where nothing else can.

There is power in love to lift up and liberate when nothing else will.

There is power in love to show us the way to live…

Love your neighbour as yourself.

Love of God and Love of neighbour hang all the law, all the prophets,… everything that God has been trying to tell the world… Love God, love your neighbours, and while you are at it, love yourself.

Live that love, and in so doing to change not only their lives but the very life of the world itself.

Real power, power to change the world.

The good of the other, the well-being of the world…

Think and imagine a world where love is the way.

Imagine our homes and families when love is the way.

Imagine neighbourhoods and communities where love is the way.

Imagine governments and nations where love is the way.

Imagine business and commerce when is the way.

Imagine this tired old world when love is the way…

When love is the way, poverty will become history.

When love is the way, the earth will be a sanctuary.

When love is the way, we treat each other like we are actually family.

If humanity ever captures the energy of love, it will be second time in history that we have discovered fire. We must discover love, the redemptive power of love. When we do that we will make of this old world, a new world.”



love Sheila


http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-44186049



Honouring and Guiding Mothers: Leadership

Posted on 21 May, 2018 at 11:45 Comments comments (0)


(I realize I did not upload my post from May 12th around Canada's Mother's Day, whoops! As it was not only for that day, I am adding it now.)


Mothers

Honouring and guiding mothers today and in this near future.


The card I pulled came quickly and easily, with a calm assurance that made sense when I turned it over.


Leadership

"I am a beacon of radiance, support, and love!"


What a great way to honour mothers and the role of mothers and mothering. It is really all about being a leader. A leader in thought, word, and deed. A leader in creating a person to be a part of this world today and for tomorrow.

How are you leading? Do you realize, do you let yourself realize that you are a leader? That it is immediately a part of you from the time that child entered your life and you theirs? You are leading each and every day. Let that soak in, not from the perspective of "Oh my goodness what am I doing?!?" But rather from the perspective of "Wow, I am a leader of this person and to this person!" How many amazing things you create and allow each and every day!

And you do it with love, with support and with love. How beautiful. Supporting another being as they learn, grow, experience, and explore. Keeping them safe when they need to be and testing their wings when it is time. A fine balance that you are learning each moment of this mothering journey and developing the skills you need as you pull from instinct, from community and family knowledge, and from your own child's needs.

Now the radiance. "I am a beacon of radiance!" Remember this as you mother for you are woman first. This is what allows you to be mother. This is what lets you grow into this role and all it entails. The radiant woman inside you. The vibrant, fiery female. The full and luscious inner goddess. Some of you laugh as you read this in the context of "mother" and what you do day in and day out. And so this is brought up to remind you. Where is your radiance? When do you feel it? When do you experience it? When do you show it so others see the beacon that also comes with love and support? By remembering this part of you, you actually bring greater honour to your role as mother and to the children you are mothering. That radiance does not need to be forgotten. Life adjusts for sure as you learn but that radiance needs to still fire from that deep wonderful inner flow. There is nothing wrong with letting it flow. You will always put safety and wellness of those who need you high up on the scale. But there are times that showing your radiance, that by letting it shine, you will actually teach them valuable and vital lessons for their lives and journeys. They will have seen and felt it from you. And you will feel better, more full, to then care, nurture, and lead forward.


Bless you radiant, loving, and supportive mother! You are loved and cherished and honoured!


With love.


Featuring the Soul Coaching® Oracle Cards by Denise Linn, through HayHouse.com


#mothersday #oracleintuitive #soulcoaching #bluewateroracle



Sunday Passion Reading

Posted on 8 April, 2018 at 11:50 Comments comments (0)


It is Sunday. You are looking ahead to the week. You are wondering how to get along, wondering how you will get everything done, how you will survive it all.


Sundays are a day of rest for some, work for others, family time for many, and preparing for the week ahead for a lot of people. It can be a very mixed day of emotions and thoughts.


Let us see what the Soul Coaching® Oracle Cards and the highest energies wish to share with us today…


Even before I turn over the card, the reminding of us to be in the present moment comes through. Although we need to prepare things for the week ahead so it will run more smoothly, we will benefit by being in the here and now. As we do the preparations, breathe, notice, and be present. Feel what is expressing itself to you. There is information and guidance there for you as well. What are you feeling? What does it make you think or experience? Do you push those feelings aside or do you welcome them as allies bringing insights, knowledge, and possibilities?


Passion

I pulled this card recently for a client and here it is again. I often question when I get a repeat card like that. I double check with my intuitive guidance whether the card really wants to come up again or if there was a weird shuffle thing happening! Usually it wants to come up :) . This speaks to something I wrote in my recent newsletter, that themes and messages will come up to us and repeat as long as we need and are open to hearing them, and sometimes even if we are not open to them!


So, on a Sunday, living your life and looking forward to the week, what energy are you bringing into your life? Where are you letting your passion express itself? This does not feel in the vein of “everyone should do their passion as their work”. It feels more like a reminder not to ignore your passions, not to ignore those things that bring you energy and vitality. Even if it is for a few moments in your day, having them respected and embraced will bring so much to you. It will allow walls and blocks to fall down because you are hearing and acting on the whispers (or the yells!) of your deeper knowing system.


The other part of this card is the affirmation “I passionately accept and love myself!” Do you? Are you in love with you? Which parts of yourself do you love and accept? Which parts do you not feel so friendly towards? There is huge potential in these questions. They show, like a mirror, where you are able to improve your energy, your reactions, and your life. Having parts of yourself that are kept in a locked box because you are not accepting of them would be like having your child locked in a closet or your dog left in a crate, a part of you is locked away. It does not mean you have to re-live everything all the time but to know that there are things you do not feel loving and accepting of within yourself and your life, is important. Then you ask for help as you need to shine brightly and to bring those parts out of boxes to be seen, healed, forgiven, released, embraced, and whatever else is required.


Help is all around, put out the call and it will come, maybe not in the way you have planned, as we don’t always have the full script, but it will come.


Wishing you a living-in-the-present, feeling, passionate, and energized day,

Sheila



Featuring the Soul Coaching® Oracle Cards by Denise Linn, published by HayHouse.com.






Rejoice in Your Tribe

Posted on 8 April, 2018 at 11:35 Comments comments (0)

Rejoice in Your Tribe


Do you have a “tribe”? I don’t mean your family or the heritage people you come from. They may be great and a part of your tribe for sure, or they may not! I mean the people you choose to spend time with, to give and receive energy from in ways that make you grow. The people who raise you up, who bring you to feel better by allowing your true essence to shine with support, care, and sharing of knowledge. And you will do the same for them. It does not mean the communication is all flowers and butterflies, sometimes it can be very raw and real but the base is always of care and respect and no one is left to feel beaten down or less than.

 

Whether you are physically meeting with these people or connecting in other ways, there is a mutual interest and excitement to connect together. Interest about what is happening in each other’s’ lives, interest in the journey you are on, and interest in where you want to go and who you want to be, as you travel forward.


I have been fortunate to experience these types of relationships and groups. People circling around from different sources and contacts to meet up regularly or periodically. I so look forward to having time with them! There is a joy in the connection and always learning as we express and receive together. Usually a lot of laughter too! Remember that your tribe can be people meeting and sharing about anything! I do not believe it has to be subject based but you may find that it tends to flow around something in common. The idea is how the people come together, how they are allowed to be and feel as they meet and share.


So, who is your tribe? Do you have any kindred spirits that feel like they are or would be in your chosen circle? If it does not feel obvious then let it sit for a while. Think of those you most enjoy having time with and expand from there. If you genuinely feel there is no one but that you have an interest in this type of a connection, it may be an opening for you to explore, to see who is out there that may enhance your life as you meet and that you may enhance theirs!


May your circle be full of joy.

May your tribe be nourishing.

May you reach out and find understanding.

May you be easily found when you may be a source to others.

Coming full circle, creating together.

Individual lives connecting for a greater whole.

Expanding and rejoicing,

Essence in flow,

Rising up, together.


Light blessings,

Sheila



Healing with the New Moon

Posted on 17 March, 2018 at 19:15 Comments comments (0)


Healing with this New Moon!

I am seeing many astrological posts and texts about the healing qualities of this New Moon. Perhaps you are feeling it nudging or working with parts of you needing healing attention. Remember to be patient with yourself, to have compassion, and to give yourself care when required as you go through this phase.


To reflect further on the healing aspect of this New Moon, the Earth Magic Oracle Cards are offering to bring us more insight with connection.


Waterfall – Effortless


The power and necessity of water. It can sustain life as well as it can take it away. It can create pathways where none were previously seen. It is a part of all of our cells and something that is looked for on other planets. This New Moon is said to be in the sign of Pisces which is a water sign emphasizing nicely the input of this card.


Whether you heal or not, from emotional wounds, from physical ailments, or from psychological or mental disruptions, is in part, up to you. Some say it is completely up to you and for certain people that is absolutely true as they are at a stage to bring healing to themselves on any and all levels. For others, the actual healing may not come in the way humans would perceive it. Rather than curing what is going on, the healing may come in fully living the journey of the perceived challenge. It may come as you connect with others during this time, as community comes to support you, as you find peace within each day no matter what it is bringing, and in so many other ways.


This card is reminding that sometimes it is in the flow that we are the most healed, not fighting upstream. And yes, this may even be the case when the flow bumps us down a few rocky outcrops or off an edge that seems impassable. There is still flow and sometimes it is mighty in its power.


When the healing is approached from the perspective of flow, everyone benefits because everyone will be working together. This may not be happening yet as many see it, but it is for each to start with their own flow of healing in order to gain momentum and to shift the greater healing available.


As you consider and notice what your system really wants to heal, whether it is an “identified” issue or not, you are then given ways to be in the powerful flow that will help you. There is technically no right or wrong way. There is your way. What brings you joy, what brings you peace, what fills you with compassion, understanding, love, and connection. It may not be “easy” when compared with what you want as a cure, but it will be incredibly rewarding when you are effortlessly noticing and moving with the flow of your water and waterfall.


Healing blessings through each cell and all energy surrounding and within you.




Featuring the Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Steven Farmer, available on EarthMagic.net and HayHouse.com.




Standing Alone, intro and poem

Posted on 17 February, 2018 at 18:25 Comments comments (0)


Being an oracle, psychic, intuitive, seer, or whatever you want to call it, has amazing moments. Those that leave you in awe of the human spirit and the intricacies of energy and connection. Sometimes it also comes with very intense and tough messages to bring forward. I do not experience these often but last night was one of those times. Actually it started two nights ago at my part-time job when I went to the desk to jot down the first line of a poem that was starting to come through. I had a sense of what it was to be about, related to recent sad events and the aftermath that follows. Then it faded and I realized today that the paper was left at work somehow and it felt strange as I knew it was to be powerful.

 

Last night as I was settling into the last phase of my evening, the line popped in again, quickly followed by the next two... I grabbed my phone, opened the Notes app and spent the next hour being deeply inspired by one of the toughest things I think I have ever written. I did not write this alone as this is not something I have experienced to that extent. I have wondered what happens in people who commit terrible lone acts but do not think I could have created like this having only felt a little of the desperation myself during personal life moments. Thus, I thank the spirit and my interpreter guide who brought it forward. I felt the emotion as I wrote the words and felt it again and again as I edited, punctuated, and adjusted it, reading it out loud to bring it voice. You have been heard and I thank you. I am deeply touched to be chosen. I know that those close to me and those I follow and learn from, are already looking and working at ways to change things for the better and we will continue to do so. Blessed be the next phase of your journey and ours. Here are your words. You are no longer alone.

 

Please note that this post and poem do not refer to any specific incident or people that I am aware of.

Be aware that this feels like sensitive material which may not be suitable for all people.



Standing Alone


I stand alone

with the world

twirling around me.

I see things that others do not see.

I feel things that others do not feel.

I may be in the crowd

but I may not be seen.

I may seem to be with everyone

but I am utterly apart.

Everything is so intense.

So fearless and fearful at once.

It presents a challenge to see forward,

to see with clear eyes

while the tears form,

while the thoughts race,

and while the doubt surges

like a protective force.

And so,

I put on my armour,

but I don't realize that it only

shields me from help.

I carry my weapon,

but I don't realize that I hurt myself

with every second it is in my hand.

I walk away

when walking towards

would be so much better.

I can pass like shadow and dream

through the lives of others,

never knowing or being known

more than a standing shell.

My hands give me away.

Fists form, not out of anger

but of buildup and just holding on.

Then there's the shaking.

Some part of me shakes

as the rest seems so calm.

And my eyes,

they look away but if caught

they scream in need,

silent but loud,

empty but full of wanting.

Ready to be touched and to touch

like a delicate flower that wants to

be noticed and caressed

when the audience

will be gentle and appreciate

it's unique creation.

And when the depths of it all

boils over

I turn to wrath,

the pain too great to bear.

But it comes in a quiet wave

something that sneaks up

like a tsunami.

People don't notice the pull out

of the water.

They continue on with their lives

never knowing the crash is coming.

Better for them I think.

They don't need to plan and simmer in the upcoming horror,

they can smile and laugh and live.

Until my fire overtakes my peace

and I flood upon them.

I am so dreadfully sorry.

I never planned my existence

to go this way.

I seem cold and unfeeling

but in reality I am tearing apart

piece by piece,

breath by breath,

action by action.

The full hearted side of me

cries out in last desperation

to stop and surrender,

but I don't know another way now.

This is my protection.

This is my yelling out loud

when all the other signs

went unnoticed.

It is not a question of fault,

is it a story of disconnect.

I have moved so far away from myself

that I must create a new reality to survive

and you don't have the script

to live there.

It isn't even really a place for life.

It is a place to die hoping the next part will be better.

I know apologies do no justice.

I know hatred will run deep.

Just know, if you can,

that my soul is walking beside me

and can now connect with all

in a new and loving way.

Peace flows finally,

the armour is off,

the weapon has fallen,

and doubt has moved away

replaced by hope.

My eyes are full again

The empty mirrors can see clearly

and I see your sorrow.

I know your pain.

I have lived it

and now I have died in it.

Sorry will never be enough

but it is all I have to offer for now.

I will learn deep truths from this

but will only be able to share them

and to atone in another realm,

where I hope to make your life better,

so you may never

stand alone.


by Sheila Bicknell

BlueWater Oracle


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February 2018



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